A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Randomize
