He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Randomize
