White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
ok first of all what the fuck
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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