I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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