omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Randomize
