Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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