I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Randomize
