Three words: puerto rican gang bang
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
