Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
vagina is talking i cant
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
