i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
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