my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
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