i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
