He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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