So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
