biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize