dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
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