I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
we made out on top of his cat.
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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