tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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