I feel like I'm in dance class right now
so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
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