So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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