Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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