Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Randomize