so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Im part way to drunk.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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