Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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