My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
