What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Randomize
