I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
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