Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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