Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
do nipples grow back?
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
