Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
