somebody snuck up and got me drunk
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
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