I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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