you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
