READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
i need some magic done to my vagina
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
