When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
