dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
All the doctor said was why
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
