I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
You ruined the universe
Randomize
