so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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