I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
