Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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