take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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