Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
That accounts for only three of the penises
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
So vagazzling was a success
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
