I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Randomize
