I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Randomize
