she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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