i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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