you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
