omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
