and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Randomize
