k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
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