We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
