Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Randomize
