You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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