How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
