I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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