chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
This house was built for laser tag.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
you inspire me to be a worse person
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
