ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
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