Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
They are going to name an STD after you.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Randomize